Breaking Up – Relationship Advice

Breaking up is hard to do – as the song goes. Complex feelings, thoughts and experiences accompany a break-up. These need to be made sense of since much of the yo-yo-ing that occurs in relationships is due to fear, panic and lack of trust in yourself about what is the best thing for you. In long-term relationships it can be hard to break-up since there seems to be so much investment – and yet the relationship may be negative for both parties and result in resentment and blame. Irrespective of the time involved, breaking up when one partner would prefer the relationship to continue, can be very challenging. The person leaving often feels guilty and resentful and the one being left feels abandoned, angry and fearful of the future.

How do you navigate your break – up? Whether you desire it or not? Remember one thing. There was a time when you didn’t know your partner. You lived and experienced ‘you’ as ‘in the world’ without them. Stop and remember this. In other words, there is a ‘you’ separate from your partner – and many of other people of course that you once didn’t know – and you existed without them. It is this ‘you’ that you want to make a very close relationship with at this time.

Seeking help to help you rediscover ‘you’ is essential – whether in the form of self-help books or groups, time out or counselling. You can become empowered to create a good life – with or without – your existing partner. You will also be a wonderful example to others – including your children – of taking responsibility for your life and not becoming a victim of circumstances.

Sydney Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Psychotherapy & Counselling assisting people to create clarity, purpose and success