Anxiety and stress – Overwhelm or Existential?

Anxiety and stress are our alarm bells that tell us that something is not working in our lives.  As a psychologist who has worked with hundreds of clients over twenty years, I believe that being out of integrity with our values is always a factor.  This means that we are not listening to our own 'inner voice' that says something is not working for us. This may be a relationship, an unresolved conflict, an unbalanced life or compromise in the work we do or how we spend our time.  Life has become busy for us all it seems and many of us forget that we have  a  choice to change things. 

There are costs of changing things and there are costs of not.  Everyday anxiety can occur in relation to external circumstances or from inner demands and myths we place on ourselves that we can't fulfill.  Often this is existential in nature whereby we begin to question how we are living, the purpose of our lives and if indeed there is any meaning at all.  Instead of being something to ignore, avoid or distract ourselves from, it can be an opportunity to make some changes and take full responsibility for how we choose our lives – and that doesn't mean responsibility according to external 'shoulds, oughts, or musts' of how we live our lives. It means responsibility for choosing everything in our lives and not blaming anything or anyone else for what happens to us.

Stress and Anxiety – slow down and enjoy the ride

Stress and anxiety are our reactions to external circumstances and our own internal expectations,beliefs and memories that trigger a flight or fight reaction.  In today's busy world, we increasingly find ourselves totally overwhelmed with the sheer amount and speed of information and demands on ourselves. 

A major contributor to stress or factor that exacerbates an already stressful situation, is the amount of noise around us.  Stop reading for a moment and listen to what is happening around you – depending on where you are, it is probable that you hear traffic, car alarms, tv, radio, talking and the constant buzzing of electrical equipment- and here comes another text or email requiring your attention. 

Under these circumstances, it is hard to listen to yourself think, yet alone develop an  internal sense of what is right for you. Whatever your situation, try to find some time each day to shut off as much external noise as possible and work towards sitting with the quiet – if you find this intolerable, then it is definitely something you need to learn to do. If you don't, the chances are that you will go through life reacting to things rather than being the chooser in your own life.    Anxiety is often a helpful alarm system that says 'stop and slow down – it's time to enjoy the ride'.

Social Anxiety – What it is and what to do

Social anxiety is a crippling panic and discomfort which results when the sufferer finds themself in social situations.  The person may be able to function outside of the home but when faced with social situations – in which the people are or are not known to them, they become immobilised and unable to speak, control their emotions and have associated unpleasant physical reactions like shaking or sweating.

Social anxiety occurs for many reasons and the unpleasant experience of panic in public acts to reinforce the fear so the anxiety gets worse and the person dreads being in social situations.  The causes are many – some related directly to unpleasant experiences or expectations or other anxiety related causes which render the person without confidence in any situations they perceive as complex or potentially difficult.

Counselling is a safe and confidential opportunity to ‘nip the problem in the bud’ before it debilitates the sufferer further.