Mid life crisis is the term given to the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that appear to develop somewhere between the mid forties to mid fifties. It occurs in both men and women but is often talked about more in men. Despite the simplistic phrases given to this period of life like ‘Oh, it’s just a midlife crisis!’, the sufferer may find their predicament highly alarming, confusing and lonely. Without the opportunity to be taken seriously or have a sympathetic person help make sense of their life and choices at this time, it can lead to depression.
A mid life crisis that is trivialised or criticised, does little to help the sufferer. I encourage people facing this situation, to dare to address the questions and choices they have been unwilling to. A midlife crisis can be an opportunity to ensure the rest of your life can be the best of your life – for you and the people around you.
Midlife Crisis is the term given to stereotypical behaviours experienced in some-one’s forties or fifties. It is considered by many writers to be an actual life-stage during which a person – a man for the sake of this article – behaves out of character, becomes unreliable, uncommitted to current responsibilities (including career loyalty, family and financial demands) , increases spending in items e.g. new cars, clothes, person grooming and might even have an affair with a younger person or of the same sex.
Whilst a life-stage model might be valuable, my experience as a psychologist is to maintain a personalised perspective of the person experiencing Midlife Crisis. Each person’s story and life is unique and to lose this within a staged model which implores a person to ’snap out of it’ might negate important choices, decisions and actions the person would benefit from considering.
Midlife crisis is the term given to typical feelings, thoughts and ‘out of character’ behaviour associated with men entering a particular life stage. It generally occurs between 45 and 55 and how it is generalised ignores the very personal experience of someone asking them self ‘What am I doing with my life? How has it passed by so quickly?’ Typically, men are criticised as being ones who suffer from mid life crisis and the criticism or ridicule negates the phenomena being examined openly by sufferers and their families. Typical behaviours associated with mid life crisis are: increased interest in appearance and younger women despite marital status; becoming adventurous in new and typically macho activities e.g. adventure sports or fast driving; extravagant spending on new cars, gadgets or clothing to increase interest by the opposite sex and increased risk taking in all aspects of life.
What is mid life crisis and is a male phenomenon? Over the years, many of my clients report entering the mid life crisis. For some, they feel relieved as if their behaviour can be explained as being normal and temporary; for others, they feel trivialised, believing that others are not taking their painful and real reflections of life seriously . My experience has revealed overall that men report feeling the mid life crisis more than women. I believe this is for two reasons. The first is that literature mainly refers to men as sufferers and thus it becomes associated with men. Secondly, women seek out closer and sustained relationships with other women where they discuss their emotions regularly. This means that their questions about the quality of their lives and what they want are not bottled up – instead they address them regularly and so do not become overwhelmed with them suddenly.
Depression, Mid Life Crisis | Clare | 
May 1, 2010 8:30 am | 
Comments (7) 
Subscribe