Abuse issues affect a person’s life long after the initial trauma is passed. Abuse occurs in many forms – physical, sexual, psychological, emotional and financial. Abuse occurs when someone deliberately and illegally or unfairly uses their power to impose pain on another person without their permission. When abuse occurs within childhood, it is extremely difficult for a child to deal with the abuse at the time. They belong to the family and have to be connected for their survival – they may feel disloyal or have been threatened not to tell anyone – This creates an intolerable situation for a child who has no way out.
Abuse in adult life is also an extremely painful cycle and self-esteem, feelings of self-worth and ability to escape the cycle become very difficult. All abuse leaves scars – it is important to process these painful emotions so the wounds don’t keep erupting or that you end up attracting similar situations unconsciously. Counselling is a confidential and safe way to work through your pain and create a better life.
Trauma counselling is a specific form of counselling which helps individuals who have experienced traumatic events, overcome the immobilising experiences of fear, panic and ”re-living” of the traumatic events. Events that threaten a person’s basic safety in the world are deemed traumatic and usually involve the person in a situation where they were powerless to resist attack or where they felt at the mercy of another person’s abuse of power.
Traumatic responses can develop into a cycle called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder where the person ‘re-lives’ the psychological experiences and memory of the trauma. It is important to receive trauma counselling in order to avoid this syndrome worsening and to loosen the grip of intolerably painful memories that keep you caught in the past.
Seeking help from a psychologist is an important step in overcoming the challenges you face in transforming your life. However, many clients come to a few sessions and then find reasons why they can’t continue. These may be practical, financial, insufficient time, childcare arrangements or finding fault with the therapist. Whilst each of these reasons are of course possible, I invite my clients to discuss this with me because often the very fear or challenge that brought them to a therapist in the first place, is activated in the therapy session e.g. a client who cannot commit might make excuses or create very real circumstances to ensure they can’t continue or a client who is afraid of intimacy, wants to stop sessions for a multitude of reasons, all of which effectively mean they avoid conveying more of their story.
All this is part of the process of change. If you have found yourself in this situation, I encourage you to resist the urge to ‘bail out’. With perseverance, you will be able to break the pattern once and for all and go on to live your life without the shackles of patterns that no longer serve you.
Psychology | Clare Mann | 
February 18, 2010 7:24 pm | 
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