Now people often ask me ‘how does couples counseling work?’ and will it work for them. I am constantly amazed at the major changes that people can make in their lives and then go on to have a much healthier relationships.
Now when someone comes to see me as an individual they’re often complaining about a partner or distressed that whatever they do nothing’s changing. So I encourage people to come along as a couple. Primarily the issues are communication, Unquestioned assumptions as to what each person believes the other person is doing, thinking or saying.
What actually happens in a couples counseling session is that I help people identify the dynamic that has developed between them, one person says one thing, for the other person it presses a button and may say something in response. It then results in person A doing something that irritates the other one and the cycle continues. Once a couple is able to identify what the cycle is they can choose to do something different.
I also teach people the skills so that they can ask for their needs to be met directly and take responsibility for their part in creating the relationship. If you are having difficulties in your relationship I heartily encourage you to address this while seeking the help of a third person through which each of you will be able to develop something more sustainable.