Getting Divorced? End of the Road or Turning the Corner?
Divorce - end or bend in the road?
Divorce – the end of a legal contract of marriage between two people is an experience unique to the individuals involved. Some people feel devastated, abandoned, fearful, lonely, angry and left feeling that everything has lost purpose and meaning. For others, divorce offers relief after a lengthy breakdown with a sense of new opportunity and beginnings. Whatever the response (there are as many as there are individuals), a person invariably feels alone, struggling with the complex layers of attachments, beliefs and feelings within themselves – yet alone when they try to explain them to others. Other people will only see it from their perspective – which may be very different from yours.
Regardless of a person’s unique subjective experiences, divorce forces an individual to embrace the reality that the world has changed; not only practically, emotionally or maybe financially but in how they see everything - themselves, the world, others, beliefs and what life is all about. For example, if previously, you held the belief ‘Marriage is for Life’ and yours is now over, you come up against the reality that your choices are limited by the choices of others. By working through these difficult feelings and reflecting on what is important to you, you can learn to live to be centred and not destroyed by external events – but see them as the uncertainty of life. How you deal with these changes is key.
Divorce can be the end of the road or time to turn the corner – and who knows what is around the next bend?
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Tags: divorce, marriage, Relationships
Psychology, Relationships | Clare Mann | 
July 29, 2009 11:12 am
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