Unable to get unstuck and can’t change?
‘How do you respond to change?’ Do you shrink from it when not the person choosing it, resist it or become overwhelmed, anxious, angry or depressed?
Everything changes – even if we stay still, people or circumstances change around us so inevitably we change in response. A good distinction is highlighted by a quote by Denis Waitley:
There are certain things that you can change – your actions, expectations, beliefs or reactions. You might find some changes difficult and painful or become immobilised by current circumstances. However, knowing that you have the power to change is important, since many of us refuse to believe we can, saying ‘I am just like this!’ or ‘You can’t teach an old dog new tricks’. This is not true. It may be difficult but learning that you are choosing to believe this is important, or else you will be at the mercy of belief systems that keep you stuck.
Some other things that are unchangeable – other people, their actions, expectations, beliefs or expectations. You may want them to change but unless they want to, you will be frustrated and disappointed. You can, however, change yourself and then others have to change since you will have changed the dynamic between you.
Knowing what is unacceptable. It is important to know what you find unacceptable and to either walk away or educate others how you want to be treated. It is little use to bemoan how wrong other people are or how badly they treat you or ‘This should never have happened’. You must first put a value on yourself and then ensure that is the price others must pay.
The unchangeable and unacceptable things in your life are like thieves who may rob you of time, focus, energy and passion. How much energy do you expend attempting to change the unchangeable? It can be as simple as getting stressed and frustrated about the traffic signal which has turned red when you are late or as difficult as not wanting to let go of a failing or abusive personal or work relationship. Even more detrimental to yourself can be not removing yourself from the unacceptable. This area can also include seemingly insignificant things like not leaving a negative conversation or as challenging as not walking away from a negative partner who belittles your goals or drowns your dreams.
It is important to develop strategies for dealing with the unchangeable and the unacceptable. Do a quick audit or your life and evaluate your performance in dealing with the unchangeable or unacceptable. With a little bit of advanced planning and consideration can save you from these negative influences. Remember, change the changeable, accept the unchangeable and remove yourself from the unacceptable!
Similar Posts:
- CBT – reframing events for immediate wellbeing
- Stress? Too much change or not enough?
- Depression – Abnormality or a symbolic invitation to change?
- Psychology of Integrity
Tags: change, getting unstuck
Psychology, Work Life Balance | clare | 
July 26, 2009 4:03 pm
Subscribe