Stages of Grief
Grief is an excruciating experience and unravelling the complex feelings is challenging. There do tend to be different stages through which someone goes after losing a loved one – even if the relationship was challenging or conflictual.
Generally, the stages are as follows: Shock, Disbelief, Anger, Resolution
The shock that someone has died even exists if the person was ill for some time. During this time it is normal to feel numb and without feeling. Disbelief sets in as you just can’s take in the reality of your loss. People can get stuck in ‘Disbelief’ for months or even years when the grief is complicated, resulting in a dissociation from reality. Anger arises in all grief (even if not immediately) – sometimes at the person for dying, doctors for not doing their part or at yourself for how you could have created a better relationship with the person.
There is no timetable for grief. People move through the stages at very different paces. Grief is also complicated as it triggers earlier losses not properly dealt with. It is greatly complicated when it occurs out of what believe is the Natural Order ie. when a child dies, someone is killed by the wreckless behaviour of another or where someone is murdered. Resolution is only possible when the feelings, beliefs and reactions have been worked through and you are able to move on. This not only takes time, it takes focused effort.
Grief counselling is an important investment of your time to avoid you withdrawing from the world or raging at it with anger. Grief counselling also encourages you to ask bigger questions about what your life is about and what you want to make of it. These are important existential questions.
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Tags: Anger Management, grief
November 24, 2009 6:45 pm 
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