Stress and Anxiety – slow down and enjoy the ride

Stress and anxiety are our reactions to external circumstances and our own internal expectations,beliefs and memories that trigger a flight or fight reaction.  In today's busy world, we increasingly find ourselves totally overwhelmed with the sheer amount and speed of information and demands on ourselves. 

A major contributor to stress or factor that exacerbates an already stressful situation, is the amount of noise around us.  Stop reading for a moment and listen to what is happening around you – depending on where you are, it is probable that you hear traffic, car alarms, tv, radio, talking and the constant buzzing of electrical equipment- and here comes another text or email requiring your attention. 

Under these circumstances, it is hard to listen to yourself think, yet alone develop an  internal sense of what is right for you. Whatever your situation, try to find some time each day to shut off as much external noise as possible and work towards sitting with the quiet – if you find this intolerable, then it is definitely something you need to learn to do. If you don't, the chances are that you will go through life reacting to things rather than being the chooser in your own life.    Anxiety is often a helpful alarm system that says 'stop and slow down – it's time to enjoy the ride'.

Stress and anxiety – is it contagious?

Stress and anxiety symptoms seem almost to be reaching epidemic proportions.  People are complaining of exhaustion, overwhelm, sleep problems and a host of physical and psychological symptoms that indicate they just can't cope. How do we deal with the symptoms of anxiety in and stress in a world where coping is considered desirable attributes.  More importantly, how can we identify and address the causes of stress.  Even when we make changes to our own lives, it seems that our fast-paced environment makes stress and anxiety almost contagious. The demands of others, the endless stream of emails and messages and a nagging question of whether we are really living our lives as we wish – all these contribute to a sense of overwhelm, stress and anxiety.  We wonder when the tipping point will come and how we can change our lives without giving up much of what we have worked so hard to achieve.

As a psychologist, I observe many differences in how people cope with the demands of modern living.  I have wondered for some some time what the differences between those who cope and those who don't.  Better time management, social support, positive thinking, clear goals, personality attributes do make differences but they are not consistent.  What is consistent is something about the alignment of one's values with how they are living their lives. In short, when we live out of integrity with what is important to us, we become stressed. When we are in alignment, we are somehow able to navigate external demands and ensure we are living 'on purpose'.  The outcome is less stress.  When we are out of alignment, external influences impact greatly, making stress and anxiety almost contagious.  No amount of time management will remove our stress or provide stress relief – we have to deal with the cause and ensure we are taking full responsibility for our part in creating our lives.

Leading a Double Life?

Many of my clients tell me that they feel they are ‘leading a double life‘.  They go to work everyday and whilst they say they enjoy it, they feel agitated and questioning of how little time they have to reflect on what their life is about or get involved in things they once were passionate about – because their time is literally spent in ’surviving’.    Their double life emerges within them in the form of unspoken values, dreams or perspectives, of a life that doesn’t leave them feeling like a robot on a conveyor belt of consumerism and pressures to conform to the demands of modern living.  Anxiety arises as they try to reconcile their responsibilities within the implications of them acting on their desires.

However this shows up in their life, the reality is that the person feels split between the demands of societal or family pressures to be a certain way and internal desires to live authentically in accordance with one’s dreams which for whatever reason, can’t be discussed with people in their life.   If you find yourself in a situation where you feel you are not living in accordance with what is most important to you, it is essential to address what is happening and the implications of making some changes.  To avoid this and not stop living a double life only leads to increased anxiety, destructive behaviour or depression.