What happens in a counselling session?

Anyone considering counselling as a way of working through current difficulties or re-occurrence of patterns that keep them stuck, understandably ask ‘What can I expect in a counselling session?’ Here is an overview of what you broadly can expect:

• The context of the session is set i.e. how you can share what brought you to counselling and what outcomes you desire by the end of counselling.  In a first session, goals will be set and housekeeping issues regarding regularity of meeting, expected duration, payment methods etc discussed.
• Depending on the orientation of the therapist, future sessions will either be run with you sharing your story and the therapist assisting you to understand patterns and your part in their continuance.  Most therapists (and some more directly) will  offer techniques, strategies and visualisations to create change.
• Counselling comprises your story (what we call the content of the issue) and the process (your perception of events, your feelings and the relationship with the therapist). In short, the counselling relationship will be used to help shed light on how you are with yourself, with others and in relation to the world.
• In confidence these things can be pointed out and any change you decide upon, considered in terms of its consequences.  For example, if you decide that being more assertive might help your relationships, there are consequences – in terms of your feelings and sense of who you are and other people’s reactions.

Counselling sessions are a wonderful opportunity for two people to explore one person’s life – your life – and because the counsellor is not known to you, they can challenge  and support you in ways that friends can’t as they have rules and agendas of what they want from you changing.   My 20 minute free session on the phone allows you to explore counselling and ask questions before committing to this journey.

Abuse Issues

Abuse issues affect a person’s life long after the initial trauma is passed.  Abuse occurs in many forms – physical, sexual, psychological, emotional and financial.  Abuse occurs when someone deliberately and illegally or unfairly uses their power to impose pain on another person without their permission.  When abuse occurs within childhood, it is extremely difficult for a child to deal with the abuse at the time.  They belong to the family and have to be connected for their survival – they may feel disloyal or have been threatened not to tell anyone – This creates an intolerable situation for a child who has no way out.

Abuse in adult life is also an extremely painful cycle and self-esteem, feelings of self-worth and ability to escape the cycle become very difficult.  All abuse leaves scars – it is important to process these painful emotions so the wounds don’t keep erupting or that you end up attracting similar situations unconsciously.  Counselling is a confidential and safe way to work through your pain and create a better life.

Marriage counselling in a time of stress

Marriage difficulties often arise during periods of stress when the couple really learn more about the differences they have.  Events like Christmas are potentially fraught with expectations of each person, largely influenced by social and cultural pressure.  Such outside influences impact on a couple who, if they don’t take time to explore their beliefs, values and underlying assumptions of what is really important to them, will find themselves in disappointment and conflict.

The increase in demand for marriage and individual counselling during the festive season is evidence enough of the stress that can be created at this time.  Identify your expectations to see how realistic they are and put time aside to communicate more clearly with your partner during times of stress.