Stages of Grief

Grief is a painful and provocative experience that, in my experience, no-one can prepare for.  Grief is primarily the experience that occurs when we lose someone to death but grief is also experienced through major life changes.  This is because we are faced with huge emotional and existential challenges about how we see ourselves, others and our world. However, losing someone to death is a particularly difficult emotion – we are reminded of the finality of our existence  and have to live with the real absence of the person we are grieving.

Whilst there are stages to the grief process, a person rarely works through them in a linear fashion.  Generally, the stages are Disbelief, Anger, Depression and Recovery.  Grief is further complicated by other losses which haven’t been properly processed.  It is as if grief becomes greater with every new loss, if earlier losses haven’t been worked through sufficiently.

Grief counselling is an invaluable part of healing – allowing the person left behind with an opportunity to process difficult thoughts and feelings.  Resolution is possible but not without working through hidden as well as obvious emotions the person is feeling.

Losing a Loved One – Handling the Grief

Losing a loved one can be one of the most painful experiences that human beings face, especially if your connection with the person who has died was particularly close, significant or leaves you without a support network within which to seek support.  Different challenges exist if the relationship with the person who has died, was problematic or even abusive.  Either way, grief  will arise at some stage, either for the loss of the person themself or at the lack of relationship you desired.

Grief has no timetable – it can appear almost immediately after a death or months or even years later.  Some people are so numbed by loss that they seem to feel nothing.  However, in my experience as a psychologist and counsellor,  grief will appear at some stage.

Grief does appear to have stages – although we do not seem to work through them in linear ways.   Instead we dive in and out of earlier stages before we come through the other end.  Those stages broadly are Disbelief, Anger, Depression and Recovery.

Grief Counselling can help you work through the complex feelings and reactions to loss and avoid grief becoming compounded by the process being avoided.  Death is a part of life and the more we can learn to integrate this important experience in our lives, the more we can ensure we live in ways that are fulfilling and purposeful.