In Up in the Air movie, starring George Clooney, he invites us to complete a self-reflective exercise on what is weighing us down in life. He uses the analogy of a back-pack which begins empty and to which we are invited to add all the things we have in our lives. For example, we begin with our homes – ornaments, pictures, belongings, furniture, cars, people, relationships, insurance policies, commitments etc. At various points during this we are asked to walk with the backpack – after filling it with only 1 or 2 items, it becomes impossible for us to move with ease. Beyond this, it is impossible to even lift the backpack and we feel pinned to the ground.
This analogy invites us to consider our lives differently. With so many appendages, it is clear to see literally how we become de-pressed and anxious – we can’t move! Agreed, we aren’t physically carrying around all these things – but everything we have IS a responsibility – it draws our attention – it needs paying for, maintaining, cleaning, insuring etc. Additionally, remaining stuck in the past, holding on to past grievances – all sources of weight and de-pression of who we are and can be.
How do we lift the load? It begins with an appraisal of our values and what is truly important to us. This becomes the internal navigation of how we spend our time and attention. Stress is not imposed from the outside. It is our response to life’s events – and occurs when we are not acting in accordance with our true selves and our integrity. You can change this when you begin to see that you are the navigator of your life – you have just lost your way. Invest your time and energy in creating a life that means something – not one weighed down with things that don’t serve you in creating that life.
Many people come to see me having just lost their job or are faced with the challenges of a failing small business. There can be enormous stress associated with this life change, particularly if you don’t have a financial payout or savings to help them through your crisis. Their focus is often ‘How do I find another job as soon as possible?’ The stress and anxiety are often so great that there doesn’t seem any room for reflection on whether you want to change direction, develop new skills or go into business for yourself.
If you are faced with this situation, then I encourage you strongly to make time to reflect and ask yourself this important question. ‘What would I do if I had unlimited resources?’ This might seem unrealistic but taking a moment to answer this question, reveals what is really important to you. If you can’t answer it easily, ask yourself ‘When did I last feel fulfilled and working in a way that made me feel great?’ Often it highlights your values and natural creative inclinations.
If answers to these questions are different from what you are doing now, don’t dismiss the possibility as unrealistic; instead, change your language to ask ‘How can I make this possible?’ You may not have the resources to do it today, but having a goal is essential in creating the life you want. There is always a way to change your life more in the direction of your dreams. Once you know what you want, you can look for ways to generate income to cover your responsibilities whilst invest in new avenues. Psychological counselling can (and should be) more than ‘re-packaging you’ for the job market; it serves to create support and ways of discovering what you really want to do with your life.
Everyone seems to be talking about the recession and credit crunch. For many people, this threatens their job security and perceived options for change. Losing a job often entails much more than a change in financial situation. For many people, it brings up unexpected feelings and reactions e.g. feeling out of control, fear of the future, perceived loss of social status, lowered self worth and change in one’s self identity.
Some people might feel shame, blaming themselves that if they were good enough, it wouldn’t have happened to them. Whilst these are uncomfortable feelings and you might be tempted to immediately rush to find another job, I encourage you to take the opportunity to examine what you are doing and what you want from life – of which your job is only one apsect.
This is not to underestimate the pressure that may be caused when you have responsibilities and commitments to other people. This is an important aspect that limits the extent of your actions- however, many people I work with regarding job loss who have the courage to explore the imposed change on them, reap enormous benefits from reflecting on the unexpected opportunities that subsequently arise. Opportunities can be missed if you rush to return to the status quo – investing in exploring what is important to you and where you are going can reap enormous benefits. You could find that you will look back and be glad that job loss happened – for the new path that opened up is much more in line with your true aspirations and dreams.
Depression | Clare Mann | 
January 20, 2010 10:19 am | 
Comments (0) 
Loading ...
Subscribe