Male Mid Life Crisis is it a fact or fallacy?

Mid life crisis for men is a period of life recognisable by typical behaviour, attitudes and feelings.  Typically, someone experiencing mid life crisis questions:

•    how they are living their life
•    the merits of living traditionally
•    whether their relationship (if they are in one) is sufficient
•    why they suddenly feel old or that life has passed them by
•    how they can get back joy and fun in their life
•    shall I take this last 'bite of the cherry'?

Male mid life crisis is typically criticised as the middle aged man wanting to recapture his youth, but is this justified or are the actions and behaviour of the individual an opportunity to reflect on their life and ask some important questions of how they want the future to be?  If one lives what might be called a 'traditional' life (and that isn't as typical behind closed doors as one might think or desire), the conformity required can be onerous.  Focus is typically on marriage, creating wealth to support one's family and bringing up children and providing for their future.  When one reaches mid life, it is probably reasonable  to question how much they are living their own life.  Trying to grasp a last 'bite of the cherry' might be the criticism the mid life sufferer is greeted with, and yet might discourage a man taking time out to explore what is important to him and how he can ensure his later years are lived with meaning and purpose.

Mid life crisis and depression

Mid life crisis is the term given to the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that appear to develop somewhere between the mid forties to mid fifties.  It occurs in both men and women but is often talked about more in men.  Despite the simplistic phrases given to this period of life like ‘Oh, it’s just a midlife crisis!’, the sufferer may find their predicament highly alarming, confusing and lonely.  Without the opportunity to be taken seriously or have a sympathetic person help make sense of their life and choices at this time, it can lead to depression.

A mid life crisis that is trivialised or criticised, does little to help the sufferer.  I encourage people facing this situation, to dare to address the questions and choices they have been unwilling to.  A midlife crisis can be an opportunity to ensure the rest of your life can be the best of your life – for you and the people around you.

Midlife Crisis – Men and their experience

Midlife Crisis is the term given to stereotypical behaviours experienced in some-one’s forties or fifties.  It is considered by many writers to be an actual life-stage during which a person – a man for the sake of this article – behaves out of character, becomes unreliable, uncommitted to current responsibilities (including career loyalty, family and financial demands) , increases spending in items e.g. new cars, clothes, person grooming and might even have an affair with a younger person or of the same sex.

Whilst a life-stage model might be valuable, my experience as a psychologist is to maintain a personalised perspective of the person experiencing Midlife Crisis.  Each person’s story and life is unique and to lose this within a staged model which implores a person to ’snap out of it’ might negate important choices, decisions and actions the person would benefit from considering.