Fear of Rejection on Valentines Day

Valentines Day is the time when people pluck up the courage to ask something they like for a date. This often causes anxiety as they fear rejection. The fear of rejection might be so great that they end up not asking for that date. However, Rejection is a Myth. Think about this. Someone fears asking another person out for a date or directly giving them a Valentines Card or Gift in the hope of them indicating their interest. Before asking for the date, they have lived without doing this, so even if someone turns them down, they still don’t have it. In reality, nothing has changed. However, what has the potential for change is the story they attach to the denial of their request. If they ending up saying ‘I am no good, I will never find a partner and I am unattractive’, they create this.

Don’t give away your power to fears that don’t exist – there is nothing to lose and a lot to gain by asking for what you want. If you fear being able to handle any feelings of rejection that result, invest in yourself this Valentines Day and seek counselling to remove this once and for all.

Valentines Day – Don’t leave your day to chance

Valentines day is a date in the calendar when many people experience a profound shift in their wellbeing, dependent on the actions of others they believe or hope, have feelings of love or attraction towards them.

People who receive gifts or cards from people they wish to receive them from, are elated – in themselves and when others comment on the positive significance of this.  For others, not in a relationship (and wanting one), a sense of sadness, depression and lack overwhelms them.  They might even find ways to distract themselves from associated painful feelings e.g. dining with other singletons or hoodwinking themselves into activities that act as useful excuses to others who enquire how they spend their valentines evening.   Some people in relationships feel anger or embarrassment  towards their mate when asked by others regarding how their loved one demonstrated their affection.

What do these scenarios have in common?  They point  to giving away your power to external expectations and myths of what things should, ought or must mean.

Examine your own feelings on Valentines Day and seek other way to evaluate others’ behaviour on your terms, not society’s, the media or external myths of what you should, ought or must receive, feel or give.