Relationships that exist within cycle of negativity, blame, criticism and possession of one or both partners become toxic relationships. The negativity grows as one or both partners experience a self-loathing and diminishing self-esteem as they repeatedly try to break the cycle and yet fail. Self-blame results as they become angry with themselves for allowing such treatment and yet being in the relationship is almost like an addiction.
Understanding the unconscious as well as the conscious beliefs and triggers that keep you in such relationships is essential if you are going to break the cycle. It is not sufficient to logically try to sort this out since it is the emotional connections that need to be understood and this is where counselling is invaluable in throwing light on what is really going on.